Sex and relationships work better when clear

Sex as part of a committed relationship can make people feel closer and more loving. Having non-binding sex can also be a lot of fun and can make people feel like best friends. Whether you are having an evening adventure or a fifty-year wedding, it is very important that you love, respect and trust your partner and that you feel loved, respected.

Types of relations

When you start a new relationship and throughout a relationship (since our expectations often change over time!), Ask yourself if you want a relationship:

Committed or not? Do you want a commitment such as marriage, long-term dating, raising children, sharing finances and / or sharing a house, or do you want a less committed romantic relationship?

Friendly or romantic? Do you want a relationship based on friendship or do you prefer a romantic and emotionally intimate relationship?

Sexual or non-sexual? Do you expect to want to have sex with this person? If yes, are there sexual activities you want to do and others you don’t want to do?

Monogamous or not monogamous? Do you want your relationship to be only with this person, so that each of you has sex with another, or not, so that you and your partner have sex with other other people ?

Remember to explore each of these questions separately. All combinations are possible !

Common relationship structures

Asexual and non-asexual people generally do not have sexual feelings and / or they choose not to have sex. People who identify as asexual may want emotional relationships, including engaged, loving, non-sexual long-term relationships, while others have sexual feelings but don’t want or feel ready for activity. sexual with another person; they are therefore completely or partially abstinent.

Lifetime mutual monogamy In these relationships, each person has only one sexual partner in their life. The two partners make love only between them

Mutual monogamy in series

It is a relational structure common to many adults. When a person is serial monogamous, they may have sexual contact with more than one person in their lifetime, but they have only one long-term sexual partnership at a time, in which both partners are monogamous (having sex only between them)

Mutual loyalty

Mutual loyalty is similar to mutual monogamy, except that there can be more than two people involved in this type of relationship. Groups or families of three, four or more may have sex with each other, but may not have sex with people outside the group

Non-monogamous sex

Non-monogamous sexual relationships include consensual / honest non-monogamous relationships such as “casual dating”, swinging, polyamory and open relationships, as well as non-consensual / dishonest non-monogamous relationships, also called cheating. There are a wide variety of non-monogamous sexual relationships that people can choose from, in which one or more members of a couple have sex with others

Note: Although at first glance, it may seem that a sexually non-monogamous person is more at risk of contracting an STI than a serial monogamous person. Remember that the structure of the relationship is only a risk factor for STIs. Other factors that increase the risk of getting an STI include the high number of lifelong sexual partners. Also irregular testing and treatment for STIs, sharing needles for injecting drug use. Having sex with strangers, or sex workers and the inappropriate and / or improper use of sexual barriers.

A sexually non-monogamous person who uses sexual barriers such as condoms correctly and regularly may be less likely to contract an STI than a mutually monogamous serial person who does not use barriers or who has a partner with an unknown status.

Sex and relationships work better when clear

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