Getting to know each other: the ingredient for a successful romantic relationship

Knowing yourself is essential to start a serious romantic relationship. It is essential that you come to recognize your type of addiction and that of your partner. This will allow you to understand your own strengths and weaknesses and their impact on the romantic relationship. You are going to say that it is easy to say, that it is too theoretical. Yes, let’s try to be simpler and more explicit. Research has come to determine three types of attachment: reassuring, fleeing and undecided.

So ask yourself the right questions. Are you rather distant, haughty? Or rather undecided, hesitant? Are you more in search of proximity? Or are you rather suspicious about your partner’s feelings? Etc…

These questions can help you to get to know each other and to build your couple life on solid foundations.

Rebuilding the couple differently, far from prejudice

The higher we raise the bar when it comes to romantic relationships, the more utopian we are, the greater the risk of failure, in reality. Perhaps we should try to be less demanding, more tolerant, to accept certain shortcomings, to comply with normative references. This will help you to avoid living your relationship in permanent stress, to want to seek the perfect that cannot exist. You have certainly known couples in whom everything seems to work perfectly, and who ended up separating, creating a surprise around them. Conversely, other couples, whom you think are in total disagreement, continued to love each other until death separated them. How to explain it, if not that they learned to live together, and to accept the other and his faults, after all human

Tolerate uncertainty

When love takes us, we generally feel overwhelmed: the other is still an unfathomable mystery, we ignore his way of thinking, of functioning. To reassure ourselves, we commit the irreparable, we become more invasive guided by our impulses. So avoid calling him like that to “see”, or asking him / her if he / she likes you … for supposedly reassuring himself. Be patient, calmly wait for the current to get better and better between you and for the relationship to set up. Do not rush the time, do not force the destiny, maybe everything will end up working out.

Don’t be afraid of conflicts

When the romantic relationship starts, we usually try to give no importance to small annoyances. And yet, these are time bombs that, five years later, will rot your couple. It would be wiser to attack your small dissimilarities and disagreements head-on from the start, instead of letting them grow deep inside you and pretending to see nothing at the start of your love affair

Communication is the ideal solution. Talking about your little worries from the start is undoubtedly a good training to then tackle the biggest problems, such as raising children, relationship with in-laws, buying a house …. in short, to build a solid romantic relationship, learn to resolve the first conflicts together

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But, and above all learn to compliment your partner, when something pleases you / him / her. Because it is not the quarrels which accelerate the separations but because, perhaps one had badly, or not at all, expressed positive feelings.

In conclusion, a couple’s life is constantly changing, it is never sclerotic. There will be ups and downs, but you have to learn to manage them together by favoring serene and responsible communication. In short, let your heart speak.

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